Author Archives: B.C. Johnson

About B.C. Johnson

Author, scoundrel, procrastinator. Hates doing dishes, loves drumming, and doesn't believe in weathermen. Lives in Southern California with his wife Gina, his boys Dash and Wyatt, and his dog Luna-Tuna. All think he spends too much time in his office. Novels: Deadgirl, Ghostlight, Goneward, and Riven.

Dreamcasting Mike Flanagan’s Dark Tower – The Side Characters

Mike Flanagan posted this Instagram story recently, noticeably after my first blog about dreamcasting the main characters of the Dark Tower series.

Continue reading
Categories: Books, Dreamcasting, Movies, TV | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Dreamcasting Mike Flanagan’s Dark Tower – The Main Characters

Featured image by Natali Hall

Inspired by director/writer/super-creator Mike Flanagan’s upcoming Netflix series The Fall of the House of Usher and my own abiding love for the Dark Tower series, today I’m going to dreamcast an imaginary Dark Tower series with his crew of usual suspects.

Why? Because no one is strong enough to stop me. And it’s fun, I guess.

Here we go. See this, and see it well.

Continue reading
Categories: Books, Dreamcasting | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment
 
 

Where to Find BC Johnson on the Interwebs

Hey everybody! I’ll be pinning this blog on my Twitter account, where I’ll no longer be active. I’ll try to keep this updated as the vagaries of fate shift social media in directions I dig.

If you’re still interested in hearing my bullshit and/or hanging out parasocially, you can find me here:

Continue reading
Categories: Diary, News | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Nate’s GoFundMe

Hey, regular blog readers. Nate, one of the last great mensches, died recently. I talked about it here. His family is struggling with the usual funeral and memorial expenses, and a little help would go a long way.

If you have a moment, the money, and the inclination, please check out the GoFundMe page for my buddy Nate’s services.

Donate Here

Continue reading
Categories: Diary | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Friend Nate

This is Nate:

A close-up of a heavy-set, handsome bearded man with glasses, screaming into the camera. A torch right behind his head gives the illusion his head is on fire.
Hey Nate!

Nate–if it’s unclear from the photograph–was the kindest, gentlest, most generous human being I’ve ever met. Yesterday, Nate died.

Continue reading
Categories: Diary, News | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Leaked: Next Patch for “Evil Dead the Game”

Balancing Change List

Survivors

General

  • Hunters Stamina Regeneration changed from 20 stamina points per second to 12 stamina points per minute
  • Survivors “Bleeding Out” state removed, replaced with the “Pwned” state.
    • In the Pwned state, survivor’s body lays on the ground helpless as an Elite Skeleton rubs its grimy, loam-caked pubic bone on survivor face for the duration of the match. Survivor cannot be revived from this state.
  • Boss headshot damage now heals boss units.
  • Survivor spawn points now visible on Demon map as golden smiley faces.
  • Supply chests have 10% chance to boot survivor and uninstall game.
Continue reading
Categories: Video Games | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Friend Ben

This is Ben:

Ben, a thing young man with a ridiculous mustache, riding a giant inflatable unicorn whilst wearing a unicorn headband.
Hey Ben!

Ben–if it’s unclear from the photograph–was one of the most extremely (and uniquely) ridiculous people I’ve ever met. Yesterday, Ben died.

The details are unknown at the moment, at least to me, but Ben was home at the time. Of all of my friends, Ben is the one I never thought would die at home. He’d go in a balloon crash, or on white water rapids, or in an accidental brawl at a Norm’s with some Hell’s Angels. Ben would end up in a cabin in the woods, and the authorities would discover he’d been battling zombies all night with nothing but a bottle of Jack Daniels.

His cowboy hat would, of course, be found fully intact.

Continue reading
Categories: Diary | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Star Trek Picard: Season 2 is Trying to Kill Me

I’ve never tried to like a show as hard as I’ve tried to like Star Trek: Picard.

Jean-Luc Picard, played by Patrick Stewart, was the captain of the Enterprise D and semi-nominal main character of the Star Trek revival The Next Generation in the ’90s. And all subsequent movies, of course, along with the new Star Trek: Picard show available on Streaming Service X That You Don’t Want to Pay For Anymore.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard is one of the founding fathers of my own personal moral framework. If he was a polytheistic deity, his portfolio in my internal Mt. Olympus would be “Leadership, Dignity, and Rationality.”

Put it simply, he’s real important to me.

Continue reading
Categories: Diary, star trek, TV | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

2021 in Movies: The Good, the Bad, and the Okay

The year 2021 is on its deathbed, thank Crom, and a decent crop of dorky-ass movies came out while we were all drowning in misery.

I’m gonna break down the ones I checked out, weighing their sins and pronouncing judgement, like Anubis. You can disagree with my proclamations if you like, but why make that choice?

Alright, here we go.

Continue reading
Categories: Movies, Review, Year End Roundup | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fan-Fiction is Fun: The Yellow Pike

This hilarious exchange on Reddit — where someone discovered that their childhood memory of Stephen King’s book IT was actually an IT/Criminal Mind fanfic — reminded me of my own forays into fan-fiction.

Most of them are happily lost to time (*cough*DragonBallZ*cough*), but I remembered that I wrote one a few years back that still exists (that I don’t hate).

I wrote this Destiny fan-fiction when I was really into the game. I then posted it on Reddit, because, I don’t know, I’m a huge fucking dork. Please enjoy this short story about friendship, sacrifice, and invulnerable space ghosts. And yes, the Titan “Stella” was my Destiny character.

Obviously, I don’t own any of this shit and it’s for parody or whatever is the most legal.

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story . . .

“The Yellow Pike”

Continue reading
Categories: Fanfic, Video Games, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.