Mike Flanagan posted this Instagram story recently, noticeably after my first blog about dreamcasting the main characters of the Dark Tower series.
Continue readingAuthor Archives: B.C. Johnson
Dreamcasting Mike Flanagan’s Dark Tower – The Side Characters
Dreamcasting Mike Flanagan’s Dark Tower – The Main Characters
Featured image by Natali Hall
Inspired by director/writer/super-creator Mike Flanagan’s upcoming Netflix series The Fall of the House of Usher and my own abiding love for the Dark Tower series, today I’m going to dreamcast an imaginary Dark Tower series with his crew of usual suspects.
Why? Because no one is strong enough to stop me. And it’s fun, I guess.
Here we go. See this, and see it well.
Continue readingWhere to Find BC Johnson on the Interwebs
Hey everybody! I’ll be pinning this blog on my Twitter account, where I’ll no longer be active. I’ll try to keep this updated as the vagaries of fate shift social media in directions I dig.
If you’re still interested in hearing my bullshit and/or hanging out parasocially, you can find me here:
Continue readingNate’s GoFundMe
Hey, regular blog readers. Nate, one of the last great mensches, died recently. I talked about it here. His family is struggling with the usual funeral and memorial expenses, and a little help would go a long way.
If you have a moment, the money, and the inclination, please check out the GoFundMe page for my buddy Nate’s services.
Continue readingMy Friend Nate
This is Nate:

Nate–if it’s unclear from the photograph–was the kindest, gentlest, most generous human being I’ve ever met. Yesterday, Nate died.
Continue readingLeaked: Next Patch for “Evil Dead the Game”
Balancing Change List
Survivors
General
- Hunters Stamina Regeneration changed from 20 stamina points per second to 12 stamina points per minute
- Survivors “Bleeding Out” state removed, replaced with the “Pwned” state.
- In the Pwned state, survivor’s body lays on the ground helpless as an Elite Skeleton rubs its grimy, loam-caked pubic bone on survivor face for the duration of the match. Survivor cannot be revived from this state.
- Boss headshot damage now heals boss units.
- Survivor spawn points now visible on Demon map as golden smiley faces.
- Supply chests have 10% chance to boot survivor and uninstall game.
My Friend Ben
This is Ben:

Ben–if it’s unclear from the photograph–was one of the most extremely (and uniquely) ridiculous people I’ve ever met. Yesterday, Ben died.
The details are unknown at the moment, at least to me, but Ben was home at the time. Of all of my friends, Ben is the one I never thought would die at home. He’d go in a balloon crash, or on white water rapids, or in an accidental brawl at a Norm’s with some Hell’s Angels. Ben would end up in a cabin in the woods, and the authorities would discover he’d been battling zombies all night with nothing but a bottle of Jack Daniels.
His cowboy hat would, of course, be found fully intact.
Continue readingStar Trek Picard: Season 2 is Trying to Kill Me
I’ve never tried to like a show as hard as I’ve tried to like Star Trek: Picard.
Jean-Luc Picard, played by Patrick Stewart, was the captain of the Enterprise D and semi-nominal main character of the Star Trek revival The Next Generation in the ’90s. And all subsequent movies, of course, along with the new Star Trek: Picard show available on Streaming Service X That You Don’t Want to Pay For Anymore.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard is one of the founding fathers of my own personal moral framework. If he was a polytheistic deity, his portfolio in my internal Mt. Olympus would be “Leadership, Dignity, and Rationality.”
Put it simply, he’s real important to me.
Continue reading2021 in Movies: The Good, the Bad, and the Okay
The year 2021 is on its deathbed, thank Crom, and a decent crop of dorky-ass movies came out while we were all drowning in misery.
I’m gonna break down the ones I checked out, weighing their sins and pronouncing judgement, like Anubis. You can disagree with my proclamations if you like, but why make that choice?
Alright, here we go.
Continue readingFan-Fiction is Fun: The Yellow Pike
This hilarious exchange on Reddit — where someone discovered that their childhood memory of Stephen King’s book IT was actually an IT/Criminal Mind fanfic — reminded me of my own forays into fan-fiction.
Most of them are happily lost to time (*cough*DragonBallZ*cough*), but I remembered that I wrote one a few years back that still exists (that I don’t hate).
I wrote this Destiny fan-fiction when I was really into the game. I then posted it on Reddit, because, I don’t know, I’m a huge fucking dork. Please enjoy this short story about friendship, sacrifice, and invulnerable space ghosts. And yes, the Titan “Stella” was my Destiny character.
Obviously, I don’t own any of this shit and it’s for parody or whatever is the most legal.
Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story . . .
“The Yellow Pike”
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