Deadgirl 3 is officially on its way, and I cooked up a little promo poster:
Author Archives: B.C. Johnson
Deadgirl: Goneward
Categories: Deadgirl, publishing, writing
Tags: author, b.c. johnson, deadgirl, deadgirl 3, deadgirl saga, goneward, lucy day, young adult
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This Year in Books (2016)
This Year In Books (2016)
So, it’s December 30th, and this fetid colostomy bag of a year has almost gone down. I’ll try not to die before I finish this article, at the very least.
I’ve been doing this “Year in Books” for a while, just running a quick rundown of the books I’ve been running this year. I didn’t read as many books as I normally do, but I also got a lot more writing done and also my son started walking. So I spend most of my time on Toddler Suicide Watch, which cuts into reading and video game time somewhat.
A Walking Dead Quitter Tries the Mid-Season Finale
A Walking Dead Quitter Tries the Mid-Season Finale, “Hearts Still Beating.”
Spoilers up to episode 7.8 of “The Walking Dead.”
Today, a former-Walking Dead fan gives the Mid-Season finale a shot and asks the question . . . is it a good time to get back into the show?
Why You Quit, Quitter?
In my last article about AMC’s hit mega-hit “The Walking Dead,” I swore off The Walking Dead Totes 4EVER. The show had gone from “must see, gather around the TV” to “this show can eat roughly 100 dicks” all with the execution of one incredibly dumb and bad cliffhanger, which a panel of multi-discipline scientists concluded to be “the worst.”
3 Movie Conspiracy Theories That Gotta Die
As movie fans, we love digging into the meat of a movie’s plot like a cyborg velociraptor with obesity issues. We even love constructing new narratives within existing narratives, like Russian nesting dolls shaped like cyborg velociraptors.
Unfortunately, just because a theory sounds cool, doesn’t mean it holds any weight, much like how the tiny hands of a cyborg velociraptor have difficulty holding weight. Here’s three AMAZING theories that are completely bullshit, ranked from least bullshit to most bullshit.
Categories: Diary, Movies, Review
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The Wafflers Review of Star Trek: Beyond
So, I just caught up on the newest entry in the NuTrek saga, and boy was I surprised.
I REALLY took the piss out of this movie when that first, widely-maligned trailer debuted. It seemed like it had been concocted primarily to anger Star Trek fans: rock music, sweet dirt bike jumps, the Enterprise being destroyed IN THE TRAILER, and “from the Director of Fast and Furious.” For me, the only thing that’s fast and furious in Star Trek should be Worf at the helm of the Defiant.
See, it’s a fast ship and he’s angry, so that’s a joke. The joke I just said.
I (and the internet) heaped so much abuse upon the trailer’s back that the writer of the film (and co-star) Simon Pegg had to come out on social media and both A) apologize for the trailer and B) insist that it didn’t truly capture the Trekkian nature of the final film.
So, was Pegg right? Could the director of Fast and Furious make a good Star Trek film?
Deadgirl Sequel Out Now, Author Pees in Excitement
Hey, good and gentle peoples who read this blog! I try not to spam you guys because you’re all so attractive and swell individuals, but it’s not every day the sequel to your first book comes out. Which it did. It does. For me. I mean.
My book is out today. Kindle / Ebook / Phone right now, but the paperback is coming soon. Anyway, I’d really appreciate it if you checked it out or at the very least sent the word along to someone you think might dig it. Anyway, here are the links to Amazon and then I’ll leave you alone I promise.
Here are the Amazon pages for Deadgirl: Ghostlight and the original Deadgirl if you missed it. They’re basically Buffy the Vampire Slayer-style adventure/thrillers narrated by a smartass.
Categories: Books, Deadgirl, Diary, publishing
Tags: b.c. johnson, bc johnson, books, deadgirl, deadgirl ghostlight, ebooks, ghostlight, kindle, launch, pandas, paranormal, phantoms, urban fantasy, ya, young adult
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Smile!
Categories: Deadgirl, News, publishing, writing
Tags: b.c. johnson, bc johnson, bobby johnson, dead girl ghost light, dead girl sequel, deadgirl, deadgirl ghostlight, deadgirl sequel, ghostlight, lucy, lucy day, phantom, pies
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The Asshole’s Guide to Editing: #4
Previous Guides: #1, #2, and #3.
Last time: Solin walked down a single street. No, seriously. Also he vaulted over a cow, I guess?
EXCERPT
The Morali land was large, but Solin was soon at his destination (passive – watch those “was”es). A copse of trees rose up in the middle of the plains, following the course of a wide stream that broke off of the Sabrienne river to the east. As he got closer he slowed down, both for fear of disturbing his friend and simple exhaustion. He slowed to a jog, and finally a brisk walk (unnecessary comma, the sequel), allowing his muscles to stretch out and his blood to slow down. (Okay. This is a common move I still have to try hard to keep out of my writing. So first I said “he slowed down.” Then, in the next sentence, I DESCRIBE what slowing down is. In case you don’t know. It’s partially my tendency to over-explain, and partially an artifact from the first draft. This kind of thing is okay in a first draft because it’s really just telling the story to yourself. Later drafts need to be leaner. Take out the tell “he slowed down” and leave a punchier remnant of the show, like “His run decayed into a jog, then a leisurely stroll.”) It felt good to be tired, properly exhausted. Solin didn’t fear toil; he was just terrible at it. (STAHP. We get it. We all get it.)
Categories: publishing, The Asshole's Guide to Editing, writing
Tags: advice, assholes guide to editing, b.c. johnson, deadgirl, editing, writing
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A Selfless Reminder
Just a completely altruistic, non self-serving reminder that the sequel to a book I wrote is coming out in one month. Which I also wrote. I wrote both, is what I’m saying.
Categories: Books, Deadgirl, publishing, writing
Tags: adventure, b.c. johnson, deadgirl, deadgirl ghostlight, ghost, ghostlight, lucy day, supernatural, thriller, writing, young adult
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The Asshole’s Guide To Editing: #3
Last time: Solin tried to help the blacksmith, taught an adjunct class on how to use a dolly in excruciating detail, broke some shit, and then ran down the street.
I took a week off because the Walking Dead finale broke my shit, but I’m back.
EXCERPT
A block or two later, his heart calmed, and he was sure Jayne wasn’t following. (“Heart calmed” is a nothing phrase – we’re here to evoke emotion. Even a cliché like “his heart stopped pounding” is at least evocative and descriptive. I’d also reorder this sentence – “His heart calmed a block or two later when he was sure Jayne wasn’t following.” Get rid of a few unnecessary commas and bring the action out front.
However, what I’d really do is reorder the sentence as above, getting the subject and verb out front, AND I’d give it more active language with an amusing voice – it was supposed to be a funny scene, after all.
So, something like this: “His heart found its old familiar rhythm three blocks later when he was sure Jayne wasn’t chasing him with a rake.”)
Still, he’d done enough harm to the populace for today. Time to go see ‘ole long face. (The voice is a MESS here. Thinking something like “he’d done enough harm to the populace” is something a robot or a snarky college professor might say. But then in the next sentence it’s “time to go see ‘ole long face.” Folksy language. Voice is important, and this neophyte writer didn’t spare one moment to even think about it).
Deadgirl
Meet the girl who just won't die . . .
Deadgirl: Ghostlight
All the world's a stage
Deadgirl: Goneward
On the road again...
Deadgirl: Daybreak
We all go a little mad sometimes
Deadgirl: Gravedust
This is the end, my friend
B.C. Johnson 