The Asshole’s Guide to Editing: #2

Assholes Guide Banner

Start at the beginning with the 1st Asshole’s Guide to Editing.

Last time: Solin woke up and left his house, which took 1,000 boring words.

EXCERPT

“Blacksmith!” Solin shouted. (Good thing Solin said this. I hadn’t mentioned this new character’s profession in at least one (1) seconds).

Jayne raised an eyebrow and leaned across his workbench, “Layabout!” (This is just a good opportunity to point at that “raising an eyebrow and leaning across a workbench” is not a dialogue tag. Turn that comma into a period).

Solin frowned.

“Don’t fret,” Jayne said, “Nothing personal. Sure could use a bit of help, though.”

(While we’re on dialogue attribution and formatting, apparently I didn’t know how to do it. This is an actual draft I sent to people, too, which is a real shame. “Don’t fret” is a sentence, so “Jayne said” ends with a period. The rest of his dialogue is a new sentence. The only reason to cram that comma in there is if the dialogue tag is breaking a sentence, as in, “We could go outside,” Mister Roboto said, “if we want to get eaten by giant space frogs.”)

Continue reading

Categories: The Asshole's Guide to Editing, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Asshole’s Guide to Editing: #1

Assholes Guide Banner

For HashtagThrowbackThursday, I thought it might be fun to go through my first, unpublished, piece-of-shit fantasy novel one chunk at a time. I wrote it when I was 19, but that’s really no excuse. I’ve since improved, thank God, with published books like this one and this one. 

At first I just wanted to share my editing-snark with someone who isn’t me, but I realized that this ungodly manuscript might actually be of some use as a teaching tool. Better than sitting in a drawer, I suppose.

Let’s dive right in, folks. The red ink represents my current thoughts and feelings, and the black ink represents a bad novel.

If this is remotely interesting to you, I might make this a weekly feature. Let’s do dis.

Continue reading

Categories: Diary, The Asshole's Guide to Editing, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

This Year in Books (2015)

This Year in Books (2015)

Yeah, I know it’s a little late for an “end of year 2015” list, but I just had a newborn. Cut me some slack, DAMMIT. Sorry, I apologize, I don’t really sleep anymore and it makes me say funny things. Much like Jarvis I do alright for a spell and then I say the wrong cranberry.

Anyway, here’s everything I read last year and recommendations on what you should check out too!

Continue reading

Categories: Books | Leave a comment

Distress Call: Help Needed

AIWATS Signal Coverttention! I am trying to win a contest to get a new book published and supported by Nerdist. The top five people who get the most pre-orders will get published, and the winner gets Nerdist support. If the book doesn’t make it, you won’t be charged the pre-order amount. So it’ll only cost you if the book actually wins, and then hey, you get a book out of it.

Pretty please click here to check the book out, check out the premise, cover, and first chapter, and if it sounds like something you wanna read (or you just like my furry face), please give it a pre-order.

In advance, you rock, and your whole face is aesthetically pleasing.

Also I’ll try to spam less and deliver actual blogposts. Thanks again!

Categories: Books, Diary, News, publishing | Leave a comment

“Find Me If You Dare” Cover Reveal

An author friend of mine, Vicki Leigh, just dropped the cover of her new book, “Find Me If You Dare!” So, being the mensch that I am, I shall leave it here for your eyeballs to peruse. Also, if you stop by her Tumblr (right here), there’s a pretty sweet giveaway going on. Anywho, here’s the cover:

Find Me If YOu Dare Cover

And, the blurb:

“They may have won the first battle, but the Apocalypse has just begun.

Five weeks have passed since the battle that left Rome and Columbus in ruins. Sheltered in the hidden city of Caelum, Daniel and Kayla train alongside over one hundred Magus and Protectors, hoping that their unified ranks will be enough to take down their greatest threat yet: Richard, his followers, and his horde of Nightmares. Then a fallen comrade is returned to Caelum with a message carved into his chest and a note referencing the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and Daniel knows their time for training is over.

Finally understanding Richard’s plans for Kayla and the three other Magus born on Halloween, Daniel and the rest of Caelum’s volunteers scout the U.S. in a desperate attempt to stop their enemy before he can unleash his first Horseman. But when massive attacks claim thousands of lives, people all over the world begin to fall ill—including those Daniel and Kayla care about the most.

With the Horseman of Pestilence released, Daniel knows it’s time to step aside and let Kayla take the lead. Only she has the power to rival her father’s. But when Richard’s plot turns out to be darker than they imagined, their fight is met with more death and destruction—and an enemy who might be unbeatable, after all.”

Categories: Books | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

My first book signing’s on June 27th!

So, I’m having a book signing. My first one, actually. And, as the Aztec Eagle God of Fate, Tetzlilopuatli, would have it, it’s also my 30th birthday!

The only present I want for this auspicious day is to see your relatively good-looking face. Come chat with me, take a look at the book, get some free bookmarks, whatevs.

Deadgirl Signing

Categories: publishing | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Mad Men Finale Kicked My Ass

The Mad Men Finale Kicked My Ass

MAD MEN2

I love the ends of things.

As much as I hate to see a story I love go away, I’m always terrified it won’t end. That the story will drag on, teeth growing longer and longer, fatigue drinking away all of the good will reserves I’ve been building for years (coughHowIMetYourMothercough). It’s a fine line, what’s too long for a television show, what’s too short. All I know is that if I’m ready for it to end, they’ve gone too far.

And it’s easy to forget that the end of a story is the most important part, if done correctly. While the journey may be more important than the destination, it’s the final statement in a piece of fiction that tells you everything you need to know about the story. If the final episode ends optimistically, it colors everything that came before – you understand what it was all building toward. If everything ends in ruin and destruction, you realize that the story was about futility, or possibly about the struggle to succeed being just as noble independent of the outcome of the struggle.

Unlike a good essay, the last episode of a television show (or the last chapter of a book, or the last scene of a movie) is where the thesis statement lives. What was the story about?

Continue reading

Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

The Clown Prince of Cakes – Saturday Morning IT

Saturday Morning IT - Clown Prince of Cake

In light of the new Jared Leto Joker reveal, which you can see right here.

Categories: Comic | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Cliffhanger

image

Categories: Comic | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Deadgirl Sale and Anthology Out, or, Sorry About the Spam

Howdy! Happy New Year! I hope your hangover has abated, somewhat, as mine has. I’m not saying I’m tip-top, but there’s no longer a stage show of giant red-ant fire jugglers cartwheeling through my skull. Anyway, I’ve got a lot going on today, publishing wise, so I thought I’d consolidate all my spam in one location. I appreciate your tolerance, greatly.

Deadgirl, by first novel, is on sale for $0.99 at Amazon right here from January 1st to January 3rd. If you check it out, I can write more, work less, and craft more hangover jokes in wacky blog posts. It’s about Lucy Day, a girl who dies on her first date, gets better, and has to deal with one very pissed off Grim Reaper. Plus her own new powers and her confused maybe-boyfriend and worried parents she disappeared on. One-part ghost story, one-part superhero story, and a wee dash of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’d be much obliged if you’d check it out. And right now it’s the same price as a chicken soft taco, but way less calories.

The Curiosity Quills short fiction anthology, entitled “Chronology,” came out today. One of my stories is in there, along with a new piece by fantasy bestseller Piers Anthony, and a few dozen other amazing writers. You can grab that right here to learn about Hog McMasters, ex-astronaut, former samurai, and world-record holder for pec firmness as he takes on mummies, empanadas, and the power of friendship.

Okay, that’s enough spam from me. Thanks for hearing it out. You may continue eating breakfast burritos and lamenting last night.

Categories: Books, Deadgirl, publishing, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.